| NOTE FROM SHARON |
Hello everybody.
In recent years, the connection with women has become very important to me. All the way from the younger women who are starting out on their journeys to the women who reflect back on their journeys.
 We have the potential to connect in important and supportive ways. This newsletter is meant to support that connection of all women of all ages on many different subjects. I was delighted to see that men have signed up as well because they have mothers, daughters, wives, grandmothers, co workers and partners who are also interested in and supportive of the issues of women.
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| THE JOURNEY TO WELL-BEING |
 EMPOWERMENT
Maya Angelou, poet, author and scholar is an inspiring example of an empowered woman. She understands what woman power is all about.
She says "We can learn a lot about strength and power from women who have faced tragedy and transformed their lives despite it. These are the women who make each moment count and live fully. They have learned to appreciate what they have and do not dwell on what they do not have".
The old definition of power and the one still referred to in most dictionaries is a force, an authority or an influence over others. More useful and positive definitions of power can include the following:
- the skills to think clearly, work out ideas and make decisions
- the willingness to take charge of life and claiming a direction for yourself
- the ability to have a vision and carry it out
- possessing the art of winning the respect of others (personally and professionally) to know how to connect and be a good influence for people, rather than being a divisive one
When we understand our power, we are able to give and get honest and caring support and feedback. We can set and meet goals, practice love and caring. Further we can be forgiving in relationships and find success by connection. Together we can accomplish things that we can not do alone.
We can change our own lives and we can bring change about in our communities and the world.
Being a powerful women does not mean being perfect. Actually, trying to be perfect stifles our creativity and our growth. Our mistakes can be a great source of power if we learn from them and move on with new choices. Women's empowerment means having power over our own lives. It is finding our true self and acting in our own behalf. It is recognizing and finding our inner guide and trusting it.
Many things have changed over the last few decades. One of them has been the role of women. On some of the cold windy nights, we watched a few episodes of the TV series SOAP (from years ago) and also MAD MEN (recent show, but depicting the 50's) Women's roles have changed dramatically since that time. As Ann Richards (former Governor of Texas aptly stated, "Women made the coffee and men made the decisions. Now men have learned to make coffee and women have learned to make decisions."
I always tell my children "Follow your dreams and do not let anyone turn you around. Believe in yourself and never be afraid to go out and seek whatever you choose. You have to risk, work hard, have fun and find satisfaction and inner peace in your own life'. A wonderful sage, Clara Holm (age 101) says "There is both the wisdom of the universe and humankind -- and we need to find a balance between the two.
We need to accept that some days we will cry and feel inadequate. However, we can make a decision to believe in ourselves and know we can make our lives work. Can any woman "have it all". Yes, but not perfectly and recognizing that it will take flexibility, lots of give and take and an active sense of humor. Nothing will be perfect, but much will be possible.
Some people are spectators in life and others just jump in and live it.
Spectators are important and so are audiences. But others have the courage and spirit to jump right into the middle of things and come as close to "all" as possible. Ghandi told us "Be the change you would like to see in the world."
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| WISE WOMEN, SAGES AND MENTORS |
 The question is often asked, "What evidence do we have that a willingness to risk change is healthier than a commitment to continuity throughout adult life?" Gail Sheehy tells us: "In my own studies, the people enjoying the highest well-being were the most likely to describe having undergone a major change in their outlook, values, personal affiliations or career.
Liz was married for 30 years when her life changed dramatically. Backing up a few years we see that there were things happening that were leading to a crisis. She enjoyed many years as a high school counselor and was awarded the honor of being the number one counselor in her state. Her husband was a professor at a college and they had one son and one daughter.
Life wasn't always easy for Liz, but it had its rewards and it was somewhat peaceful. However, there was a lack of intimacy between she and her husband that remained a cloud over the home. He was highly intellectual and not very emotional. She was lonely a great deal of the time. They lived parallel lives with occasional connections.
For Liz, her life shattered when her son committed suicide and her daughter moved out of the country. When she and her husband were left alone, stress escalated. She needed to talk about what happened to them and he refused to talk. This went on for some time and finally
Liz sought help for herself alone. He wasn't interested in seeking any kind of help.
It became clear that Liz had a choice. She either had to keep going the way it was or she had to take a risk. She chose the risk. She joined support groups, she sought mentors and teachers, she found legal help, she went to work and she left the life she had built for 30 years., She did it to save her life. I am reminded of the words of Trina Paulus, writer. She says" You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar".
Today, Liz is happy. She is connected with many people who share with her their lives and are interested in her sharing back with them. She has reconnected with her daughter and now grandchildren. She loves her work and her life is full of contentment, inner peace and joy. Marianne Williamson reminds us with her wisdom. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."
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| TRAVEL ADVENTURES |
TRAVEL- AROUND THE WORLD
It had been a very hard working year. I really needed a vacation. Where to and how long was on my mind. Then the brochure came. Around the world - a cruise - for three months. What a dream idea. I thought I would just glance at the brochure. the glance turned into a study. The study turned into excitement. The excitement turned into a longing and I knew I was going to take this trip. But how- when it seemed too big to even imagine. Whenever I have had "big" to think about before, I would break it down into smaller pieces and make it more manageable.
I started with the time. Jan-March. I needed to change about 12 commitments, but that was manageable. The cost - that would be a challenge, but manageable. The work and preparations, huge but manageable. I was on my way. Since my living quarters would be a small room, special plans were needed. The room had a full bathroom with bathtub and a balcony, so the size of the room was less important than the ways that could make it homey.
First of all, pictures for the walls. I took "easy to carry" photos of all my family and many of my friends. There were also pictures of my home and garden. It would be in bloom upon my return. Then a quilt crocheted by my mom for afternoon naps. Can't have a bathtub without candles, so I chose my favorite scents. Two weeks of clothes (the ship had laundry facilities) were chosen as well as a few special books.
If I close my eyes and relive the trip, the sights, sounds and smells are still there.
Boarding a large floating hotel that would be my home for three months and knowing I was going to go around the world was an amazing feeling. Excitement, fear, anxiety, thrill, happiness, curiosity and wonderment all blended together. We set sail.
First day on the sea, they offered interest group sessions where you could meet for short periods of time with people who had similar interests. I met with other authors, public speakers, tap dancers, exercisers, family therapists, grandmothers and people who loved movies and travel. By the first night, I had many new friends. Travel is based on the desire to explore the unknown- however true exploration requires that you look beyond the surface. It was clear that these relationships would be part of the grand experience.
A long trip allows the ship to offer much more than the typical cruise experience. The ones I chose were a two week handwriting analysis course, a two week Feng Shui decorating course, a two week cooking school conducted by Princess Diana's personal chef and a tour through the kitchens and workings of the ship. We opted for a table for two next to a window and went out for a special dinner for many of the days at sea.
Occasionally, we opted for room service on our private balcony while we floated through the magnificent harbors of Sydney, Australia and Hong Kong, China. Some nights the most fun was an in-room movie with popcorn and a peanut butter sandwich.
 Mornings we arrived in our ports, greeted by an elephant under the balcony in India,
singing natives in the islands, young men on wild horses on Easter Island, throngs of shoppers in Hong Kong. In the less remote places, people were excited to see us and welcomed us with open arms. The days were filled with never to be forgotten adventures. We strolled the countryside of Tuscany, Italy. We walked the marble streets of Ephesus, Turkey. We explored the magic of Luxor, Egypt. We felt the history of the dusty paths of Pompeii, Italy. In order to know a country, one must first know its inhabitants, what they think, how they live and what they do. I had that experience and I will never forget it.
When the trip was coming to an end, feelings surfaced. I was really ready to see my family, recognize familiar magazines and television shows, enter my home and connect with friends. There was also this little place inside that wanted to start all over again, stay on the ship and open my mind and heart to the experiences of the world. Today, the world is smaller for me. I watch the news with great interest. I see people who are different from me as people I know and care about. Today, it's a value for me to attend The Conference on World Affairs (Boulder, CO) each year to stay connected to the peoples of the world.
Travel has become a priority.. Somehow build those memories that you cannot afford to be without. |
| LESSONS LEARNED |
SOLITUDE
 Solitude is being alone, it is not loneliness. Solitude is the time that we spend by ourselves to find our authentic self and let our creative juices run. I learned that lesson years ago when I would get on a airplane after speaking at a conference. During the conference I would be filled with ideas and love the excitement of connecting with other peers and audiences. But it was only when I got back on the airplane, alone with my thoughts and feelings, did I begin to integrate what I had learned and what I had shared and began to feel creative.
Some have said that our mothers knew how to meditate and create long before we did. They would stare out the window while washing dishes or iron while thinking. Who knows how many problems they worked out or how many creative things they planned.
Mindfulness is now taught, but it is naturally done by many women. If you like your own company, value your time alone and find that you need more time alone, chances are you are practicing your own form of meditation.
As we grow and have more and more experiences, we can draw upon our own life as inspiration for creativity. Experience has been our teacher and it becomes an inner resource. When this happens, we need less experience to teach us and more time to reflect. We develop an inner consciousness.
We can learn a great deal by being alone and meditating.
One of my greatest forms of meditation is walking. When home, I have a favorite route for my walk. The first part of my walk is one mile straight up a steep hill. Helping me make it up the hill are Ray Charles, Barry White, Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis. By the time I sing my favorite songs and walk to the rhythm of the music, I am at the top of the hill. I love this time and the way my body feels as I make it straight up the hill. Then it's time to turn off the music and meditate. Part of the time I pray to my Higher Power and turn my thoughts to the universe. Then I am quiet and let whatever message the universe has for me come to me. I walk a mile at the top of the hill and this is pure solitude. Then I start down the hill and head for home. The music sometimes comes on again or sometimes I continue the silence. It depends on what is on my mind at that time. Either way, when I reach home, I am ready for a full, serene and productive day.
Barbara De Angelis tells us that we need to find the courage to say "no" to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity. Dorothea Brande adds her wisdom "Act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid." Few of us have time to find solitude. All of us can make the choices we need to make in order to find time for solitude. Go deep inside and find out who and what steals your "time for yourself." Then take your choices and your time back for yourself.
Note: The photo included here is from a photo I took at Easter Island, Chili. It was the first time a cruise ship had sailed to Easter Island. It is the most isolated inhabited spot on earth. It took 7 days by ship to get there and another 7 days before we were back in communication and civilization.
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Follow your heart. Dreams have no expiration date.
Sharon W Cruse
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Sincerely,
Sharon Cruse
Woodshaven, Inc. | |
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